I Stand Alone
by KateLilly
Summary: KateCentric. Oneshot. Kate stands alone. R&R!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost no matter how much I wish upon a star at night. And I also do not own the song I Stand Alone. Godsmack does….**

**Summary: Kate feels alone after Sawyer left one night, taking every possession and she realizes that she 'Stands Alone' and stands up for herself… I suck at summaries okay? R&R! **

**Rating: PG**

A tear silently fell off of her cheek as she looked at the floor of her and Sawyer's once so called room, in their old house. She had found out that Sawyer had been cheating on her with a blonde, skinny girl, who was about five years younger then him, and he got mad, so he just packed up and left. Yesterday he came for everything except the mattress and her pillow and blanket, leaving only little things like her pictures and her books. He had broken her heart. She couldn't get hold of any other survivors to talk to, and she tried Jack's office about a million times, but no use. They were all gone. Out of sight. No where NEAR close to where she was, physically and spiritually.

Her brown hair was up in a messy ponytail just like it was every day when she was on the island. Tears continued to fall off of her cheeks as she thought more about her situation. About how she was alone. But she could be alone. She had been for years after starting to go on the run. Other then conning men out of their money and sex. She had tried so hard for years now to just get out of all of the mess and live the right way, but every time she did something good, there ended up being a million bad things either heading her was or that she had to do. It just wasn't worth it. She had tried to repent and be nice, and kind, and not do anything else that could get her in trouble, but just like before, bad things headed her way, whether they were what she did, or what bad luck did.

For instance, when she had donated some clothes to the homeless shelter just about two hours away when she was in a not so safe area of the city, her tire popped. Sure, she had to beat up a few guys for them to leave her alone, and that got all of her anger out, but still, she called that bad luck. And another thing. When she was cleaning the large window of the church right down the street, two boys about eleven or twelve were playing baseball and shattered part of the window, running away as quickly as possible, leaving HER to take the blame. And sure, she felt good for paying to replace the window and re-cleaning it, but she also called that bad luck.

It seems that years of stepping on the crack didn't break her mothers back, but instead caused her years and years of terrible bad luck. And a memory started to come back at thinking of how she could have caused this bad luck. When she was at home alone she was in her mother's room looking at her mom's favorite and most prized mirror. It had diamond lining (obviously fake diamonds) and sliver trimming and handle. Kate thought she had put it back correctly in its stand, but instead the stand tipped over as she started to walk away and caused the mirror to break, leaving nothing but shattered glass and the outlining out the mirror.

She laughed and wiped her tears away at that memory. Her mom had been so mad at her, at the time it didn't seem funny. She had two weeks of yard work EVERY DAY to do and still it seemed so funny now. But her smile faded away as she thought of the mirror and how it resembled her right then, that very moment. The shards of broken glass were in her heart. The broken shards were Sawyer.

**Now I've told you this once before  
You can't control me  
If you try to take me down you're gonna pay  
Now I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me  
I'm picking you outta me  
you run away  
I stand alone  
Inside  
I stand alone  
**

Kate took her black leather purse and walked out of the front door. "That bitch! He stole my car!" she yelled stomping her foot. Kate walked back into the house, putting her bag down and picking up the phone. "Yes, can I get a direct link to the local taxi service?" said Kate. "Thank you,' she said after a moment. After minutes of arranging a taxi to come she heard the honking outside. She picked up her purse and walked outside, locking the door on her way.

After about an hour of having to roll the window down and breathing in fresh air, and hearing the guy cussing at the other bad drivers she paid him, thankful to be walking away from that car. She went into the slide open doors of the hospital and looked over the counter. "Can I help you miss?" asked the blond girl with the Australian accent. "Yes, I have a question. Is Dr. Jack Sheppard available to see a friend? I'm the friend,' she said. "Umm, let's see, hold on," Said the woman. She picked up the phone and dialed three numbers in which Kate couldn't make out exactly and started talking. Kate looked at her name tag which said Libby Jordon. "Hi Beck. Yes this is Libby. Yes. Well see, I have a friend of Dr. Sheppard's here in front of me, and she wanted to know if she could see him. Yes. Of course I'll tell her. Alright. Bye," said Libby hanging up the black receiver. "Mrs. Crawford said you could see Dr. Sheppard in about an hour. He'll be out of surgery and will have no more appointments for about thirty five minutes, okay?" asked Libby. "Yes, thank you SO much!" said Kate. "Goodbye!" she said while walking out the door.

Kate walked around the city, looking at stores, and even buying some things like new books and postcards. She had never been to this city before. And she liked it. Everything looked new. All the buildings cars, people, stop lights. Even the sun looked new. And soon enough and hour went by. She quickly ran through the streets and through the sliding front doors to the front desk. "Okay, what floor and room please," said Kate. "Floor fifteen. Mrs. Crawford will show you his room," said Libby. "Thank you," said Kate. She went onto the elevator and pushed the number fifteen and stood squished with the rest of the people on the elevator. It took forever to get to get to floor fifteen because it seemed that every person was going to level two through fourteen… It was annoying. Finally Kate got up to level fifteen.

**You're always hiding behind your so called goddess  
So what you don't think that we can see your face  
Resurrected back before the final fallen  
I'll never rest until I can make my own way  
I'm not afraid of fading  
I stand alone  
Feeling your sting down inside of me **

Kate walked into the fifteenth floor and went up to the front desk. When she looked around she saw a bunch of offices that were not private, but only had two to three walls keeping privacy in and then along the wall of the elevator were some offices with glass doors and curtains. Kate was pretty sure that Jack was in one of those. "Mrs. Crawford?" asked Kate. "Yes?" asked a black haired woman. She took by her last name a little, because the color of her hair was like the feathers of a crow and her brown eyes were like little brown beads. "I'm Kate. I'm here to visit Dr. Sheppard,' said Kate. "Oh, welcome. Follow me," said the lady. She stood up from her desk and started walking along the glass offices and finally got to one with blue satin like curtains. "Dr. Sheppard. You have a guest here to see you," said Mrs. Crawford with her head sticking in through a small crack that she made by opening the door. "Okay," said Jack's voice. Kate walked in to see Jack looking down at his desk, which was covered by papers and charts and a telephone and a coffee mug. "Hi Jack," said Kate. Jack looked up at the sound of her voice. "Kate!" he said standing up and hugging her.

"How are you?" he asked. "Pretty Good," she said. "And Sawyer?" he asked. Kate looked down slowly at the floor. 'I don't know. We haven't talked in a month. We divorced after he left," said Kate. "I'm sorry Kate I didn't know," said Jack. "I know you didn't know. I've tried to reach you about a million times if not more and you never answered!" said Kate. She was standing up now, pointing her index finger at him. She sat back down in her chair quickly as she began to sob loud, hard sobs. "I'm sorry Kate," said Jack. "No, I shouldn't be angry at you. It's just that he stole everything. Even MY car that I paid for," said Kate. "Well, I can understand that. Sawyer is and has been like that, even on the island," said Jack. He sat in the chair next to her and hugged her. Kate took a tissue and wiped her eyes. She laughed a little and then hugged him again. "I guess you could say I'm alone," said Kate. "So why'd he leave?" asked Jack. "I found out that he was cheating on me," said Kate, "So he got mad and just left." Jack looked at her for a moment. "I sort of figured he would leave me when I made my choice to be with him, and know that he would probably do this, but not so soon," she said.

**  
I'm not dying for it  
I stand alone  
Everything that I believe is fading  
I stand alone  
Inside  
I stand alone  
**

**And now its my time (now its my time)  
It's my time to dream (my time to dream)  
Dream of the sky (dream of the sky)  
Make me believe that this place isn't plagued  
By the poison in me  
Help me decide if my fire will burn out  
Before you can breathe  
Breathe into me  
I stand alone  
Inside  
I stand alone  
**

Jack and Kate had talked for a while before she had to leave, and he had to do surgery on another spinal victim. She left feeling a lot better then before she saw him.

The look on his face when he found out what had happened with her and Sawyer was devastating but the way he comforted her in her time of need… it was so sweet and gentle, unlike Sawyer's grasp, so hard and rough.

Feeling his arms around her again, like when they were on the island, was soothing. And brought back memories.

Flashback

_Kate ran. She ran as hard as she could, blistering her feet on the hard, cold, and wet ground that surrounded her. Fat rain drops splattered beneath her feet and broke like fragile glass as she ran. Some of them poured onto her head and ran down her face like tears and sweat. She couldn't hear the loud thunder clashing above her soaked head or the yelling of people, just the sound of her heart thumping in her ears and chest. A lump was formed in her throat so she did not yelp or scream when she tripped. _

_She scrambled back up and ran, still quickly as ever. And finally, instead of dirt and sticks and rocks cutting her feet, she felt the stinging of the wet sand beneath her cold, numb toes. But yet she continued to run. Her clothes were torn and tattered and her back and chest filled with marks that were bleeding and bruised. Her legs burned with the cared for and knew. But it was merely a stranger that she had known for about a month. He had taken her that day and taken her deep into the wood. _

_She still ran. She ran as quickly as she possibly could through wet sticky sand. Her body was about to give up and a pair of hands stopped her in her tracks. "Let me go!" she screamed, writhing out of the hands grasp. The grasp was so gentle and kind. She suddenly knew who she was fighting and stopped, looking up into those deep blue pools. "Freckles?" asked Sawyer's southern accent. "What happened?" Kate just cried. You couldn't see the tears with the rain pouring down on her face, sticking her hair to her wet skin. Sawyer hugged her, holding her close. "Let's go find the doc," he said._

"_What happened?" asked Jack. "I don't know. She passed out in my arms," said Sawyer. Jack was feeling her neck for any sign of a pulse. "Well, her breathings fine, her pulse is racing though. So she didn't tell you what happened?"_ _asked Jack. "Nope," said Sawyer._

Kate walked over to the sidewalk and got a taxi and told him to take her home. "31 Brown Street," she said. "Yes ma'am," said the taxi driver. She hated any thought of that memory. She could feel his hands on her neck, and hear their conversation, but she couldn't wake up, hoping to be held by Jack or Sawyer's protective arms.

"Thanks. Keep the change," she said. She picked up the news paper, got the mail and went inside. She looked through the mail quickly, noticing all of them were bills and a dentist letter saying it's time for her yearly check up. "I'm not going to the dentist anytime son," she whispered to herself.

She opened up the billed and then dropped them on the table. She skimmed through the paper and then put it down next to the mail and her keys. She plopped down onto the old couch, causing it to squeak a little. Sawyer had even took HER TV! "I hate him," she muttered under her breath

**Feeling your sting down inside of me  
I'm not dying for it  
I stand alone  
Everything that I believe is fading  
I stand alone   
Inside  
**

**I stand alone  
Inside  
I stand alone  
Inside  
I stand alone   
Inside**

The realization that came when she thought of how she was alone hit her in the face. She had to make her own living now. She would be on her. She would stand alone.

**Okay… I hope you guys liked it! My favorite part of writing was the flashback! PLEASE REVIEW! Kate**


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